Well that's something I never thought I would say......

Hello again friends. Today I am 37 weeks and 5 days pregnant. It's hard for me to believe that after 9 long years of being pregnant, the end is only a little more than 2 weeks away (in theory)! I can't express enough how ready I am for my little kickboxer to get here, it's the only thing I dream about now....and not in the - I'm going to have a 5 legged baby - kind of way.....they are good dreams about both my speedy, painless delivery and her immediate ability to breastfeed and sleep through the night. And just to ease all of your minds, no I am not on drugs.....just dillusional.

So, I guess I'll start with last week's dr visit. It was pretty standard and not much to report. My blood pressure is normal, Mia's heart rate was about 150, and my weight is still steadily climbing (I'm one of the lucky ones who's weight doesn't seem to slow....ever. awesome.). I was measuring 38 cm (not of dialation....we're talking fundus here) which is about normal for me. I always seem to measure a little big, but nothing Guiness Book worthy. I guess the part I was (oddly, given the way the results are procured) looking forward to, was to see if we were making any forward progress. I knew she had dropped because now I get these lovely shooting pains in my very upper, inner thighs randomly that are so painful they make my knees buckle. I like to call them "ankle rollers"....this just keeps getting more fun ;-) Well after her exam, my doctor determined that I am 40% effaced, but still closed (not dilated). She said with a certain amount of confidence that she WOULD see me this Friday, and given that its Wendesday now, I'd say she's probably right. She also said that we would most likely see some progress in the dilation department this week.....I hope she's right. She also retracted her last guess at Mia's weight. She seems to think now that she'll be just an average 7-7 1/2 lbs.....my vagina litterally sighed with relief. My next appointment is this Friday at 10:45. I am very eagerly waiting to see if Mia is making any progress in her downward journey :)

When I got the results of my last appointment, I was conflicted about how I felt. Mia is full term now, so she would be perfectly fine if she was born at any point now. That gives me a lot of comfort. On the other hand, I am in the middle of my last week at work, and honestly, I just want to make it through. I am the kind of person who would be forever bothered to leave something undone. I have to fully complete my task before I can check it off my to-do list. Its just my rule. This task is not done until Friday at 4(ish). Having said that, these last couple of weeks at work have been very stressful. I have worked for my Dad's company for 4 1/2 years. My job is second nature to me. I know the customers when they call, I can guess what they want, tell you where they live, how much we charge them and who their service tech is....all without looking them up. In the course of the last few months here I have transitioned the company over to new software, having to manually enter far more information that I thought was going to be necessary. While trying to learn a new program myself, I have been teaching 3 different people here how to do my job. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. But I feel confident after this week that Pestworks will go on without me.....possibly more smoothly than when I was here....and that makes me proud. I say all that to say that I have been tense lately. I dont think Mia has had any choice but to stay put as my muscles are clenched so tight she couldnt bust through if she wanted to. Now, when I walk out of this office on Friday, that is going to change.....there is a good chance my kid is going to fall straight out of my lady parts - no passing go, no collecting $200. So, have your phones close....or your tv's on....this could be news breaking ;-)

As far as how I feel....ugh. I'm going to sum it up like this.....
I think all of you who know me, know I like to look at least somewhat cute when I leave my house. I try to tame my hair and put on make up. And I almost always wear something that makes me feel good about myself paired with a cute pair of shoes and earrings. Well, Friday night when Dan turned to me (sitting on the couch in sweats with an old tank top that barely covered my stomach, no bra, hair in a messy pony tail) and asked if we could go out for dinner, my immediate reaction was "Do you care if I go like this?" I'm not going to lie peeps....it wasn't pretty. I'm pretty sure that I have officially stopped caring. He, being hungry, said he didn't care, so not only did I suggest that I be in public looking like hell.....I actually followed through. Fantastic.
So....that's how I feel. Ready to not be pregnant. Ready to wear a shirt and not worry that it is going to cover my stomach. Ready to see what the area below my belly button looks like again (although I may want to wait a couple months to take a really close look). Ready to wear pants without an elastic waist band. Ready to wear cute underwear that don't look like we could camp underneath them. Ready. Just ready.

So Mia, if you're reading my thoughts as I write this......bring it. Mama's ready!

I havent been very good at keeping up with pics lately....I think it falls into the 'not caring' category, so I had Dan snap some this morning before he left. I haven't been sleeping well so please excuse my face.....or just get used to it. I have a feeling it will look that way for a while to come ;-)

37W 5D

Picture Update

Hello friends and family :) Today I'm 36 wks 3 days pregnant - only 3 1/2 weeks left!! This isn't going to be much of an update, I'm mainly posting just because I've been slacking on the pictures lately.

At my doctors appointment last week, I hadn't progressed at all. I honestly had no feelings either way about that.....I am definitely ready for her to be here and feel like the less time she has to gain weight, the better for the sake of my nether region, but at the same time, I still have a week and a half of work left and plenty of things left undone, so I am kind of hoping she stays put at least until October 1st. I opted to not make the trip to Houston this weekend for one of my best friends weddings....it was a decision that I struggled with and went back and forth on all last week. In the end, I just didn't feel comfortable leaving. So I didnt. The silver lining was that Dan and I completely finished buying what we needed for the house and we are now completely ready for little Mia's arrival :) Well....I mean ready as far as she has a place to sleep and clothes to wear, I'm not sure anyone is ready for the emotional and physical impact this little one is going to have on us!

I took my maternity pics last Thursday. I have posted some of the unedited pics below, she is still working on some of them and I'll post those when they're ready. This was another thing I had gone back and forth on, but in the end, I'm really glad I did it. I think that for how unattractive I feel at the moment, these turned out ok.....and I'm pretty sure I needed that.

As far as how I'm feeling.....I feel ok. I now wake up to hands and feet that are swollen and painful (super awesome) so I can't wear either of my wedding rings anymore :( This morning I'm pretty sure I pulled a back muscle just bending over, and I'm finding it harder to get any kind of good sleep. But I guess given that we only have a few weeks left, it could be worse. Mia still moves around ALL THE TIME which is pretty cool except that I feel like she's been sharpening her bones or learning to make weapons or something in there, because good lord those little jabs are painful at times!

My next appointment is this Friday at 11:30. I'll update again after that :)

We'll call these my 36 wk pics.....

This is one that will be edited to show her birth date on the card

So much love, not enough words.......

Well, here we are again. I am 35 weeks and 4 days into this treck. As I write this, I can feel Mia hiccupping inside me.....she's always doing something to remind me that she's there. I think that may be what I love most about her right now. Some of her indicators are more subtle than others, maybe a bout of hiccups or a roll across the tummy just to say 'hi'....others, not so much. Those pokes and stretches done with seemingly so much intention are slightly less "comfortable" but no less loved.

So much went on this past weekend that I'm not even sure where to begin. That's a lie, why would I start anywhere but the beginning of the weekend. Ok, here goes.....

Friday morning I had my 35 wk doctors appointment. It was your pretty standard appointment, pee in a cup, step on the scale, blood pressure then chat with doc. When the doctor came in, she listened to Mia's heart beat (150) and measured me (36cm). Everything was within normal. She said she wanted to start seeing me weekly now (also pretty standard) because my blood pressure was a little high this time. I was relieved because one of my best friends is getting married in Houston next weekend and I wanted to get checked out one last time before I commited fully to making the trip. Now is the point where sh*t started getting real......we're talking about delivery now. She was letting me know when  I should call when I start having contractions, what to do when my water breaks.......holy crap, I think I'm having a baby, folks! Before she left, I had to ask her one more question, I think its something every mom wants to know - so I asked, "how big is she now?". So, she came over and started picking up my stomach as though it was detached from my body then calmly stepped away and said "oh, about 7 lbs." WHAT???? I'm not sure if she was doing the math, but if this kid is 7lbs now, we're looking at possibly close to a 10 lb-er when she's born. Yikes! I know that all she can give me is an educated guess at this point in time and the only REAL way to know how much the little anvil inside me weighs is to do a sonogram, but I have to admit, I was sweating a little (and by that, I mean, a little more than I do on a regular basis). She told me that if at my appointment this week I am starting to dialate or efface at all, I would most likely not make it to October 15th.....I can't decide how I feel about that yet, but if it means not shooting out my lower regions with a 10lb butterball, I think I'm ok with it. So, there you have it, I go back this Friday at 10:45 to see what's happening.....

There was phase 1 of my weekend. it just so happens that phase 2 was ALSO at the hospital. Dan and I signed up for (back in June when a 12 hr course in 2 days sounded like a fantastic idea) a childbirthing class at the hospital. This class was meant to cover everything from pre-labor to delivery to after birth to breast feeding and also included a hospital tour. Sort of a one-stop-shop for all you need to know about parenting.....or at least producing a child and having that child survive for at least the first couple weeks. After that, she's on her own ;-) Going in, neither of us knew what to expect. I think there were definitely points after a long week where both of us wanted to just say 'screw it' and try to wing it, but in the end, I know we were both glad we sucked it up and just did it. Over the course of the Friday night and Saturday classes, something else happened that I dont think either of us expected. I should probably start by saying that when we initially met with my doctor when I was 6 weeks along, she asked if I had any preferences about how I was going to deliver. I informed her very quickly that if she were to offer me the epidural that day, I would gladly take it and live as a parapalegic for the duration. Over the course of the last couple weeks, I have had a shift in what my plan is though....and this weekend kind of sealed the deal. I've decided that I am going to try to have this baby naturally. No drugs. Which is another reason I'm a little worried about her size at the moment. Now I realize that at this point, I can safely say this because I am not in a state of having my uterus try to shove a watermelon through a small opening in my body, but I figure if I go into it with this mind set, I will at least make it a little longer before I ring for the drugs. I realize this choice is not for everyone (and may not even be for me - time will tell) but I just feel very strongly about it at the moment and I think I would regret not at least trying. So there you have it.....phase 2.

I think that Phase 3 was probably my most favorite phase.....my family baby shower :) On Sunday, Amie, Kelsey, Robin, Linden, Avah and my aunt Eileen threw me a baby shower, and I must say, it was amazing! I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have such amazing women in my family. To have started out with just me and my mom as the 2 sources of estrogen, I must say, the Swindle women are now reigning strong! And they sure throw one hell of a shower. I'm not sure how many people were there, but Mia was showered with so many gifts that we are seriously considering moving her to the master bedroom and Dan and I taking the study ;-) Some of our favorites were some handmade receiving blankets that Dan's aunt made for us, an amazing quilt that my Aunt Eileen and her husband put together and embroidered for everyone to sign, a coming home outfit that my mom bought for Mia (it looks just like the one she brought me home from the hospital in), an overnight bag for going to Grammy's house that has her name embroidered on it from Amie and and absolutely incredible scrap book that Kelsey put together for her. This scrapbook, is something that I have been meaning to do, but just haven't (and probably never would have) gotten around to.....Kelsey spent days printing up this very blog and pictures to put with it and put it in a book for Mia to read when she gets older. I probably don't have to tell you my reaction to opening it....and its not because I'm such a huge fan of my own work......its because I was so touched by all the work and love that went into it. It still makes me tear up. These women are all in my family people! ALL OF THEM! I think maybe its God's way of saying "ok, you put up with 3 brothers and your father long enough, here's your break". I hate to speak for my mom, but I know she feels the same when we say how lucky we both are to have such wonderful sisters(daughters in my moms case)-in-law. I can't wait for Mia to meet everyone.....I have a feeling she will be just as awesome....if not, we'll just put her back and start over ;-)

Well, that pretty much covers it. I didnt take a 35 wk picture because after all of this, I couldnt stand up anymore. But I will post pics of the shower soon! Also, this week I will be taking maternity pictures. Its another thing I wasnt sure if I wanted to do or not, but it came in a package where we paid for a years worth of Mia pics, so I thought why not? I will post those (if I approve of them) sometime this weekend.

As far as how I'm feeling, I have to admit, I am feeling kind of rough. I now have to get up at least twice a night to go to the bathroom and I noticed yesterday morning that my fingers are starting to swell, so I'm no longer sporting my engagement ring :( I have a hard time being on my feet for any amount of time with out some pretty intense pain in my lower stomach area and I am just very tired a lot....in other words, I'm about 35wks and 4 days pregnant ;-)

*interjection*

* Last night was the first night that I did not sleep well....I'm not convince I slept at all. It feels like someone has taken a baseball bat to my lower back and getting "comfortable" is not something I know how to do at the moment.
* Today my walk is not even a waddle....its more of scoot.
* When i weighed myself this morning, I was 3 lbs heavier than i was yesterday....how does that even happen?!
* Dan and I left the house together and I stopped and told him I had to run back in to get my prenatal vitamin and my stool softener.....I'm pretty sure there was a time I would have kept that last part to myself.

This is not your normal post, but definitely something I wanted to remember. I'm just shy of 35 weeks....while I'm ready for Mia's arrival, I am also overwhelmed with the lists running through my head right now. Lists of things that I need to do. I wake up in the middle of the night with ideas on how I am going to organize her closet....really?? I have 3 more weeks, after this one, of work left and I can't seem to stop trying to streamline things in my sleep.....too bad that doesnt translate when i get up. I think its mostly because I'm too busy trying not to faceplant onto my key board.

I am, however, thankful for the cooler weather and for short weeks :)

oh, so THAT'S what you mean by "nesting"!

Hello friends! Today I am 34 weeks and 3 days pregnant. We have less than 6 weeks left! Mia could literally come at any point now, although I'm really hoping she waits at least until October 1st....BUT if she could make it before the 15th that would be great. I'm trying to say that alot now because from what I read, she's able to recognize voices she hears on a regular basis, and being that she's going to be a genius, I'm sure she can already fully understand what I'm saying ;-)

There is no doubt that I feel more pregnant every day. Each day simple things get harder to do and every day my walk turns a little less swagger and a little more waddle. Mia is still moving around A LOT, but since she's not able to actually flip and turn, I think she's lashing out by testing the structural integrity of my uterus. The things I feel are absolutely incredible. When she does her impression of a human bomb suddenly exploding into every inch of my insides, I feel it from my butt to up under my ribs....and although the doctors and all the pregnancy books like to call it "uncomfortable", I'll just let you know.....it hurts. She also regularly gets cozy up under my ribs which would be totally fine if I didn't need oxygen, but I have yet to figure out to remain alive without breathing, so her and I battle it out and to date, I have won. I still feel very lucky that I only have to get up once every couple nights to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. The other nights, I just go in bed....thank God for rubber sheets ;-) only kidding. I'm really grateful that my sleep hasnt suffered much over the course of the last 8 months.....I occasionally have a hard time falling back to sleep when I make a mid-night bathroom run and I am often in some pain from being in one position for so long when i wake up, but aside from that, I get in a good 8+ hrs pretty regularly.

But lets really get down to it......I have started a new phase of pregnancy. One I was SURE I had missed or was going to avoid due to sheer exhaustion. NESTING! I know about 45 women that are pregnant right now (mostly on facebook, but some of whom I speak with on a regular basis) and I have heard almost all of them talk at one point or another about "nesting". Well up until a couple days ago, I was sure that I was one of the rare few who would not experience this whole phase. I figured, I'm already only 6 wks out.....we're running out of time for what seemed to me like a grueling string of tedious and possibly unnecessary organizational projects. Well Saturday morning I woke up and looked around my house. There was tons that needed to be done. Everywhere I looked I saw a project. I decided to settle on organizing my gift wrap....I obviously prioritized based on need, and gift wrap being a pressing issue at the moment ;-) I have no idea why that was so important, but now, if anyone needs a gift bag, card (for any occasion), ribbon, or tape, I am your woman! After a baby shower on Saturday, I finished the day off with scrubbing the house from top to bottom, organizing under the sinks in our bathroom, doing 3 loads of laundry and sorting through 2 huge boxes of hand me downs that Amie sent over. I thought I had it all out of my system until I had Dan help me completely re-organized our kitchen cabinets after dinner tonight. I wish I could say I was close to being done now, but this urge has taken over....there's no telling what I'll be organizing next!

Well there's not a whole lot else going on right now. I have my next doctors appointment on Friday morning. I really feel like she is going to tell me that Mia is starting to drop....I feel her little kicks and punches so low now....I kind of feel like she may drop out my butt at any moment sometimes (and yes, I know thats not the normal exit strategy). Next weekend is going to be super crazy and awesome. We have our childbirthing class on Friday night and all day Saturday then my baby shower on Sunday (SO EXCITED!).....I just can't believe how real this all is. I think back to the day in February when I peed on the stick that changed my life, it seems like years ago now. But now, here we are....going to meet our baby in just a few weeks!!

So here we are.....

34 Weeks 3 days....please excuse my sagging boobs, I'm still getting used to needing to wear a bra and to be perfectly honest, when I'm at home, I don't care ;-)

The things I don't want to forget.....

Today I am 33 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I can see the light! And its a good thing because I'm running out of steam.

From the start of this journey, I have tried my best to be diligent about documenting every little thing. I literally have a pregnancy journal where I can record my moods, cravings, waist size, and weight, the similac dr. appt journal that they give you on your first visit where I record the baby's heart rate every appt and what we went over that day, along with my measurements and blood pressure, and no fewer than 3 apps on my phone where I record the exact same things that I have already recorded in the aforementioned places......and of course, there's this blog that I use mainly as an outlet to let everyone else know what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling and what Mia's doing (or at least what I guess she's doing) from a week to week basis. I also take pictures weekly to remind myself how huge I'm getting and and share that information with the world not only on this blog, but on facebook. Yep, I'm completely ridiculous. Despite the 900 places I have written things down, I keep feeling like there are things that I am going to want to remember that I haven't written anywhere. When I talk to Kristin, she tells me that even though Cooper is less than a year old, she forgets what being pregnant feels like, and what she was craving at certain points, or when she stopped being able to see her feet....all things that she swore in the moment that she would never forget! It got me to thinking that maybe I should just jot those things down now....so here goes.....

* I order a side of jalapenos with almost every meal I eat....and there are never any left when I am done
* I visit sonic at least 4 times a week and order either a large diet cherry limeade, ocean water or vanilla diet coke- I'm convinced these 3 drinks could be the solution to the world's problems
* Just this week, Dan and I ordered pizza 3 times in 5 days.....and there were never any leftovers
* If I don't have some sort of ice cream in my freezer, I get anxiety and worry how I am going to cope when dinner is done
* I caught a glimpse of myself in the window walking to my last dr. appt and would swear I was as wide as I am tall, I chalked it up to a weird angle and the fact that it wasnt actually "a mirror". When I got home, I was in disbelief that my umpa loompa like reflection had followed me to my own mirror
* I sometimes feel sad for absolutely no reason, start crying, then start laughing because I have no idea why I'm crying - I'm noticing my raging hormones are way worse now than they ever were in the previous two tri-mesters
* I cannot sit down or stand up without making some sort of grunting noise.....I have tried to do it silently, its like trying to sneeze with your eyes open
* When 4 o'clock hits at work, I start thinking about the things I need to do when I get home. Then i realize I would rather just stay at work later than go home and do any of them....at least then I feel like I've accomplished something somewhere so I feel less guilty about going home and doing absolutely nothing
* I'm a laundry person, I do laundry probably 3 times a week. This week, I forgot all about it until Dan had to go to work commando because he was out of underwear....and I resorted to a questionably fitting pair that should probably be thrown away
* Now, when I look straight down, I really can't see my feet :(
* I have an affinity for spaghetti and meatballs that I never had before. I could literally eat it for every meal (with a side of jalapenos)
* I've caught myself yelling at Luci for things like being in the kitchen or bathroom (two places she knows she's not supposed to go) or for just moving around and generally annoying me. I have a fear that I will react the same when Mia is able to move on her own, so I am trying diligently to speak to Luci as though she is a toddler.....she's not nearly as receptive.
* I look back at pictures I posted at 8 and 9wks pregnant where I wrote captions like "really starting to show now!" and I want to go back and slap myself. I guess you never know until it happens, but I had no idea my body would transform the way it has.

I know there is a lot more that will come to me as soon as I post this, but for now, I guess thats good. If i interject random bullet points into future posts, you will know what its in regards to.

I have a dr appointment next Friday which is also the weekend that Dan and I do the Childbirthing class at the hospital and I have my second baby shower (yay!). Its going to be a busy week, but I am really looking forward to it :) Time is really flying now. I can't believe she's almost here!!

Here we are:

33 Weeks

And here is a quick look back at me and "MJ" at 15wks.....Yea, i was a real heffer ;-)