As far as Mia goes, everything is good. Her heart rate was strong at 150 and I am measuring about 24cm - generally you measure in cm within about 2 of the week you're on. Since I'm just about 23 weeks, to be 24 cm is "normal".
Aside from that, I had my first complete meltdown at the doctor's office (well, technically, it was "completed" in my car when I left the doctor's office). I was concerned going into this visit that I had gained too much weight this month. According to everything I have read and heard, at this point in my pregnancy, I should be gaining about a lb per week. Well, being the over achiever I am, I decided to double down and make it a nice round (no pun intended) 8 lbs in 4 weeks. Yes....that's right. 8 lbs. Yikes. Well I can attribute a lot of this to my new found philosophy that eating whatever I want, whenever I want is my God given right. I am going to gain weight anyway, why not do it while enjoying the finer (fattening-er) things in life, right? Wrong. I started to tear up when she told me "yeeaa....thats a little on the high side" maybe you should just "watch a little closer what you're eating". WHAT?!?!?! She may as well have said that I was scarring my unborn child for life because I could not drive by a McD's without salivating, because I'm pretty sure that's what I heard. I was embarassed and totally mad at myself. That just happened to manifest itself as tears and hives....it really helped with how good I was feeling about myself at that very moment. Really helped.
I had a few more questions to ask her. I had been having a pain just above my belly button that was pretty persistent. Her answer: its just your stomach stretching. Of course it is. 8lbs, 4wks....makes sense. I asked her some other stuff too, but I can't remember what.....its a blur.
So, I proceeded to my car where I called my husband and through the tears told him how awful of a mother I was because I had gained too much weight. He, being the awesome person he is, assured me that I was going to be the best mom...and that the extra 4lbs did not define me. I sure love him. I may not have expressed that as I assured him that the 4lbs was, indeed, the end of the world. I then proceeded to scare the crap out of my mother, who I am sure thought there was something wrong with Mia and would never have guessed that my reaction was to a few extra pounds....she had to reassure me that I was, in fact, pregnant! And there was a tendency for pregnant women to gain weight....and sometimes it was unpredictable. So.....eventually, the waterworks stopped, and I pulled myself back together. And I will get over it and start making healthier choices so that I can avoid future break downs.....at least in the weight department.
I am realizing that while pregnancy has been a super amazing experience for me, and the prospect of being a mommy makes me happier than I've ever been.....I am still a woman, and gaining weight is hard on me. Even if I know I am supposed to, but especially if it's more than the "norm".
Thus ends my Debbie Downer episode. Looking forward to kicking my next appointment's ass! :)
Here is me and my 8lbs (well, actually 17 lbs) at 22wks 2days
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